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This was the de facto final of the tournament.
As one could probably reasonably expect, this absolutely fucked. Perfect enemies meet and create a perfect sort of a fight, yet again one of these compact and ideologically correct sorts of fights that’s disguised as a professional wrestling match.
Under fifteen minutes, bloody, and a match that’s either about a.) the Funks punching the other team in the face as hard as possible or b.) Abby and The Sheik trying to stab them with a variety of sharp objects (fork for Abby, the notorious spoke for The Sheik) in order to stop them, and also because they really really like stabbing people. Styles make fights and while you don’t usually think of “stabbing” vs. “punching” in the same way you might think of matwork vs. flying or striking vs. grappling, that’s what the match comes down to. If anyone can make punching a style, it’s Terry Funk. If anyone can make stabbing a style, it’s Abby and his little buddy. It’s a match reliant on these things and largely only these things, one which finds a perfect premise (punching vs. stabbing), and relies on that alone, with enough (figurative) fire, energy, and hatred to bridge the divide.
A match whose structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.
Each team has a plan and goes about executing those plans flawlessly. There’s nothing not to like here. Even what one might imagine would be a weak link (Dory often not being fired up enough) is absolutely not that, because Dory brings it when the match asks it of him too. When Terry gets hurt (too much stabbing), he’s a house of fire like I’ve never seen him be before, punching up a storm and even getting one of the instruments of destruction and having his turn stabbing the stabbers. Terry Funk, obviously, is perfect. This is a match that asks him to do all of the things he’s best at, from the purely mechanical as one of wrestling’s all time great punchers, to the more emotional and harder to define things, such as getting pissed off and raising hell, which he does better than anyone else in the match too. On the other end, it’s hard to mess up stabbing (although certainly some have), but they do a stellar job when called upon. Abby has a few super impressive bumps and Sheik is generally fine in all areas, but they do a superlative job of carving up Terry’s arm with their tools and earning every bit of the ass beating that follows, first from Dory and later from Terry upon his return to the ring.
Delightfully, Terry comes back not only with his right bicep all bandaged up, but also having taped up his prodigious left to arm himself with a weapon of his own. Terry whips ass with it, and is able to bail his softer brother out when they try to stab him with both tools at the same time. It’s no better or worse really than your garden variety Terry Funk comeback, but your 1977 garden variety Terry Funk comeback is one of the better things that pro wrestling history has to offer.
After a moment or two of that sweet sweet revenge, we wind up getting robbed of that ultimate vengeance in classic 1970s style. The Sheik hauls off and punches the referee in the face for trying to maintain some sort of order, and that’s finally enough after giving them a pass all match for the stabbing. The evil dream team is disqualified, and the Funks triumph in the end, although with nowhere near the satisfaction that the match made anybody want.
One gets a sense that there’s so much more that they can do together, but a lovely lovely start to the series.
HANDWERK 