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(photo credit to @sumorock on Twitter.)
This was a, to my best knowledge via translation, Thumbtack and Trash Box Scavenge Deathmatch, but as always, deathmatch stipulations — outside of having to do something specific to win, like a Best Two Out of Three Light Tube Log Cabins or the Unlucky 13 Staple Gun Match — are never actually all that important, so much as they are a description of the props in play.
For most of this match’s runtime, it is not all that unique or interesting, outside of the atmosphere that a smaller, grosser, and more crowded room can give some wrestling. It is a pretty standard deathmatch for the first like ninety percent of the match, and while there isn’t a whole lot to criticize, there’s also nothing in this that really grabs me by the throat and won’t let go.
Part of me thinks that, once again, people just need to watch more deathmatches. In the interest of fairness though, another part of me also constantly needs to remind that first part that nobody’s journey is the same. The few people going nuts for this may not have seen a whole lot before, and this may be the first truly low down and dirty kind of scum deathmatch someone has ever seen. I wrote in the review of the first Nick Gage vs. Matt Tremont match that when you watch deathmatches for a while, it is harder and harder to be really blown away and impressed, and it can often lead to this kind of disconnect between veteran viewers and newer ones that becomes a real frustration to the former, especially when a match full of things you personally have seen a million times before somehow catches on and becomes this more widely acclaimed thing.
This match is like eighty percent stuff that is fairly commonplace and that, when you’ve been watching matches like this, is not really THAT impressive. Thumbtack spots, garbage can shots and moves, things like that. To their credit, they hit real hard with everything, never really chicken out of what they’re doing, and innovate some to counteract the limitations of the environment, such as using a folding stool rather than a chair. It’s a charming little thing, especially given the skill level of the two wrestlers involved, although again, it is not a match that leaves much of an impression beyond that, yeah, this is pretty good.
Of course, that all changes in the last maybe two minutes of this match.
Zlater has a stack of small circular light tubes put over his head and around his neck, and they’re broken with this hideous swing of the stool down onto his head and neck. Following that, Zako uses what looks like a garden hose to strangle Zlater and hold him in place while he pours a jug of water down his mouth and on his face, borderline waterboarding him into submission. It’s not only one of the more inventive runs of spots in recent memory, but gross in a real attention-grabbing and memorable kind of way.
A great finish does not a great match make, in the same way that a great ending or one great bit doesn’t make for a great movie in and of itself. Still, at no point is this offensively bad or even really bad at all, allowing the finish to really stand out. It’s a pretty standard thing put on by amateurs, with the sort of skill you would expect, and helped significantly by the innovation in big moments that, likewise, you really only get out of people on the fringes of a thing like this.
Not quite beautiful, and I am not going to heap a world of praise on it, but not without its virtues either, including maybe the best finish of the entire year.
You can watch it here.
HANDWERK 