Akito vs. ASUKA, DDT Wrestle Peter Pan 2019 (7/15/2019)

Commissions continue, this one from Ko-fi contributor Chris. You can be like them and pay me to write about all types of stuff. People tend to choose wrestling matches, but very little is entirely off the table, so long as I haven’t written about it before (and please, come prepared with a date or show name or something if it isn’t obvious). You can commission a piece of writing of your choosing by heading on over to www.ko-fi.com/elhijodelsimon. The current rate is $5/match or $10/hour for things over an hour in length, and if you have some aim that cannot be figured out through simple multiplication, feel free to hit the DMs on Twitter or Ko-fi. 

This was a one light tube match for Akito’s DDT Extreme Title.

For the uninitiated, that does not means there is simply one light tube allowed in this match. I can see why you would think that, friend, because pinfalls still count as a way to win this match, but you are not close. What that means is that there is one light tube in this match, but if you are the one who goes through it or are clearly responsible for breaking it, you lose the match.

Yes, the entire match is basically one bit.

To that I would say, (a) welcome to DDT, back when it was a good wrestling promotion, and (b) when the bit is this good and then they commit to it this completely, with the entirety of their hearts and minds, it loops all the way back around to become great.

Akito and ASUKA commit to this harder than most people have ever committed to one of the silly DDT ideas (especially those indoors and in a real ring), incorporating the tube in so many ways at nearly every possible moment. You can go into this imagining a few scenarios, but there are so many different ideas they have. Not to just recap every single movement that happens in the match, but you have avoiding it when standing against the ropes or the corner, using it as a shield to get someone to pull a strike at the last moment, tumbling over it on the mat when thrown near it, kicking out of pins while holding it (to their credit, they also use it as a distraction a few times to try flash cradles), the works. If you saw this, I’m sure there was at least one use of the tube you never imagined, and if you one day watch this for the first time, I imagine there will be at least one use of the tube you also will not have imagined beforehand.

Long story short, it is not only a phenomenal bit, but one that Akito and ASUKA mine so much longer and deeper than anyone could have reasonably expected.

Following a fake out on his Muscle Buster, throwing her on her feet to put her in position, Akito holds the tube up out of nowhere to block a head kick, this time baiting ASUKA into breaking the tube because of the quality of the ruse.

It’s a genuine marvel, to the extent that while it is one extended riff session, it almost feels rude to simply call it a comedy match.

This sort of pushes the boundaries of a review, I have really nothing new to add here besides maybe bringing a few new eyes to it, but it’s great, and if this is all new to you and you think you would like it, you almost definitely would.

***

HARASHIMA vs. Shinya Aoki, DDT Maji Manji #21: Korakuen Hall Special (10/28/2018)

This was for HARASHIMA’s DDT Extreme Title.

DDT finally gets into the Inokiism business, and this unofficial DIFFERENT STYLE FIGHT winds up being the best thing to come out of the company since, well, the last time HARASHIMA got to wrestle another high-level grappler in a singles match of half-decent length.

It’s only eight minutes, so on paper, you might think this is not a match of half-decent length, but there are two things about this match worth noting and then remembering.

Firstly, it’s the first match in a series. HARASHIMA and Aoki have a lot to do against each other, your classic Inokiism bit, Hashimoto and Ogawa for people with a very specific sort of brain damage. Which is to say that the shoot fighter gets our hero, the true Ace, gets beaten the first time in such a fashion that it cannot help but stand out, only to go on a journey until his rematch, upon which he rises up, learns whatever lessons are there to be learned, and proves once again that Pro Wrestling is the Strongest.

So, it’s not all that offensive that it’s a shorter match without HARASHIMA and Aoki showing everything they can do and having the best match possible, because relative to the goal — have a match providing an effective hook, building interest in a return match — they completely succeeded.

The other thing is that it still rules.

It’s maybe not one for people without a taste for grappling, or the science in general, but I’m not writing for you baby brained freaks. Grow up. This is like eighty percent, minimum, HARASHIMA and Shinya Aoki rolling around and riffing it out on the ground and inventing things out of thin air and chaining them together in a way that is both hard-nosed and also sort of breezy in a DDT sort of a way, this building of a brand new  steel bridge between worlds that typically do not have even old janky wood and rope bridges built between them, and it’s a delight.

Both because it is all really good, this organic feeling contest that shows off a lot of real neat holds and that always feel competitive and at least a little frantic and desperate, but also because there’s so much put into all of it. Context matters significantly here, the knowledge of how HARASHIMA matwork tends to lead to a moment where he lures someone in enough to target the body, and so when he’s never able to do that — or chooses in brief moments to show his hubris and simply not do that, intent on trying to outdo Aoki in what is otherwise in DDT his domain, when challenged like never before — it really does mean something. The result of that is wonderful in every way something like this can be wonderful.

HARASHIMA opts to move forward in a realm that favors his opponent so much more, out of like eighteen different types of pride, and each one of them comes before the same fall. What’s worse is that, as the match goes on, he almost shifts course, but gets frustrated when Aoki doesn’t go for usual pro-style set ups, and seemingly commits himself to getting this guy on his own terms then. HARASHIMA finds his best success in neither pole, but instead in moments when he can counter a hold into a big piece of impact offense, like a shoot-adjacent piledriver, or his big kicks. However, he didn’t get this far by not being a stubborn and wonderful and insanely prideful freak, and as a result, we get the ending that is maybe not expected beforehand, but in retrospect (this is one of the coolest things a match can do, by the way, having it come into complete and total clarity after the fact), feels like the only ending that was ever possible.

When stuck in a Triangle, HARASHIMA tries the classic pro style escape of hauling him up for a powerbomb, rather than turning for the ropes, only to collapse back down into unconsciousness for a referee stoppage.

On this night, pro wrestling is not the strongest.

Thankfully, with someone as reliable as HARASHIMA, you know that it will one day return to its former glory, and that he will be the one to do it.

Go Ace.

A phenomenal set up for one of the best matches of the next year, and real impressive and great in its own right.

***1/4

Yuko Miyamoto vs. HARASHIMA, DDT Max Bump 2018 (4/29/2018)

This was for Miyamoto’s DDT Extreme Title.

My beloved psuedo dream team of Dangan Yankees explodes, and unsurprisingly, it whips a ton of ass even at only thirteen minutes.

In the hands of lesser wrestlers, the sorts of stumbling blocks in front of these two — lack of time, being very decidedly not a big epic Great Match — would have doomed this to being probably just slightly above average. However, Miyamoto and (especially) HARASHIMA are two of my favorites, because they rarely let things like that get in the way. When everything you do is itself great and when you almost constantly make the right decisions in a wrestling match, or at least move with sure a steady confidence that they feel right enough, as well as an attention and respect paid to almost every possible detail, it’s very easy to make a less ambitious like this match still result in something great.

The match seemingly goes out of its way to illustrate that, making the confusing decision to spend maybe a quarter of its time dealing with a HARASHIMA right ankle/leg injury after kicking the ringpost outside. Miyamoto isn’t really a limbwork guy and HARASHIMA uses his legs a whole lot, so it’s a weird call that would have ruined a lot of other matches, and felt like an easy way to fill excess space otherwise.

Fortunately, HARASHIMA is one of the great detail-oriented wrestlers of the generation, and so it works anyways.

Despite it not taking up this large chunk of time, and only being referenced by Miyamoto’s offensive attack a time or two once he’s done with it, HARASHIMA never forgets about it, and so it always feels important. He’s maybe the best wrestler in the world at this point at selling a leg injury while running, taking these big strides that still feel pained. Likewise, he’s better than anyone else at selling a limb while still using it for strikes. He doesn’t throw more than a few kicks, but each of them has a clear visible price, and one that he pays without ever looking like it’s all phony. It’s something he usually does, that he tries, and then doesn’t do a whole lot again. Likewise, he’s always holding it a little weird on the ground or when he gets thrown down, so even when the match isn’t directly saying he has a hurt leg, he’s saying it for anyone paying attention. I don’t know if it’s even a top fifty HARASHIMA performance, but it’s the sort of outing that again shows everything there is to show there, the offense, the ideology, and above all, the commitment even in less notable matches like this.

It’s also just a match with a lot of cool stuff also. Good matwork, great strikes, the efficiency you’d expect from these two in a match with this runtime, a lot of energy, and the usual fantastic construction and escalation you expect from both guys. An easy match to like.

HARASHIMA wins the title back for DDT with the Somato.

Not as great as it can be, but a reaffirmation of the greatness of two of the steadiest hands around.

three boy

Yuko Miyamoto vs. Mike Bailey, DDT April Fool 2018 (4/1/2018)

(photo credit to @puroresueikaiwa on Twitter.)

This was a Ladder Match for Miyamoto’s DDT Extreme Title. 

In this match, they did a lot of cool stuff and, more importantly, never did anything that wasn’t entertaining on one level or another.

Sometimes that was a comedy bit based around neither man wanting to use a ladder and instead each trying to make a gigantic chair structure that they inevitably ate A TON of shit on, either through their own lack of balance or the construction giving the opponent enough time to recover and knock them off. Sometimes it was Mike Bailey taking basic K-Hall chair whip spots unbelievably hard and going careening into the bleachers with enough force to cut his forearm open. Other times, it is simply these two bumping obscenely hard on simple ladder stuff, bumping even crazier on the truly inventive bits, and generally going after this thing as hard as possible given the subject matter and limitations of a DDT semi main event hardcore thing. 

It is all cool as hell, and proof that at the end of the day, the thing that really separates great matches like these from everything else is simply commitment.

Miyamoto eventually knocked Mike off the top onto a ladder bridge in a real real real gross landing, first on his back sideways on the bridge, then bouncing off of it onto the mat below, and gets the title down.

Not an especially novel finish, but it completely fits a match like this. Relatively simple, but done with total commitment and visibly disgusting enough to leave an impression.

A delightfully uncomplex thing.

***

Akito vs. Shigehiro Irie, DDT Friendship, Effort, and Victory! in Nagoya (5/17/2015)

A remarkable knee selling performance by Irie and a really impressive performance by Akito assaulting said knee, unfortunately performed in a snakebitten ring and wrapped up inside of a match too long to make anything out of either.

 

Shuji Ishikawa vs. Shigehiro Irie, DDT (8/26/2012)

This was for Ishikawa’s DDT Extreme Title.

This continues the themes from the tag team match before it, as a member of DDT’s second generation of serious homegrown acts tries to step up against one of the tentpoles. Irie’s still very young and relatively small, with his big boy singlet still being a little baggy around the chest and midsection. He brings it in the exact specific way he needs to though, which is repeatedly smacking the hell out of Ishikawa. Shuji’s always had some hit-or-miss tendencies on his elbows and other big strikes, so while Irie is a little shaky there, he lands enough that he feels about on Ishikawa’s level. Ishikawa lays it in more and more as the match goes on, and advertently or not, the effect is that it feels like he starts to take Irie more seriously when it goes on.

There’s simple bully work by the champion, the sort of thing that’s perfect here because Irie’s probably not to be trusted with anything deeper just yet, but Ishikawa is mean enough to get people to the place where they need to be for this to work, getting behind Irie. I’m a recent convert to liking the big goof, a side effect of hardcore HARASHIMA fandom and enjoying Irie being so thoroughly owned forever, but Irie is so likeable in this. Beyond just performing super well, he’s the one constantly challenging Ishikawa and calling him into question as the best big guy in DDT. Ishikawa answers him eventually, and does it both with hard shots, but also these explosive moments that Irie isn’t quite ready to answer yet. He can withstand chair shots, trade elbows, and even trade a few incredibly disgusting headbutts, but he lacks the big arsenal of Ishikawa. Like with his peer Sasaki in the tag, he has these moments where…hey, maybe…but then when they fail, he doesn’t really have anything else to go to. He survives a gross John Woo style single boot to the face and the Fire Thunder Driver, but Ishikawa holds onto the title with the Splash Mountain Driver. 

Another really fun and super efficient little match. Classic pro wrestling story on display once again, with the twist of it being a type against type match too. It isn’t just that Irie isn’t there yet, it’s that while Irie might have been able to win with this same sort of gutsy and fired up performance against a smaller wrestler, his greatest strengths weren’t actually strengths at all against someone who was the best possible version of what Irie may some day become. It’s a far more interesting and unique approach to what already tends to work out most of the time.

***

El Generico vs. Isami Kodaka, Union (1/3/2012)

This was for Generico’s DDT Extreme Title.

Totally nuts. Deeply silly match involving a gigantic hammer, a ladder, a bunch of chairs, and a table. If you want to criticize this, fuck man, there’s ammo for it. Isami Kodaka has a few super questionable attempts at fighting spirit spots and so much of what he does just looks weird. Then also, this is a match with minutes of exchanges involving a gigantic hammer, ending when Kodaka takes a ludicrous bump flying backwards when it hits him underneath the jaw. On paper, this feels like a match I would absolutely hate, but Generico, man. The pacing is perfect, everything is executed in a way that isn’t flawless, but turns any sloppiness into a virtue instead of a flaw. They build to the biggest and wildest stuff for the end, save the insane hammer thing, and yeah dude I don’t know. Sometimes this deeply silly stuff is just fucking cool and it works.

***1/4

El Generico vs. Shuji Ishikawa, UNION (9/19/2011)

This was for El Generico’s DDT Extreme Title.

The match is unfortunately joined in progress, but we get a nice fourteen minutes of it. Shuji Ishikawa has had his problems with control work up to this point, but Generico is the best babyface in wrestling at this point and sells, bumps, and leads him by the hand better than anyone else has so far. The size difference means Generico is more of an underdog than usual and that there isn’t a big time epic finishing run, but it still works so well. Shuji eats him alive and it all works so well. Generico struggles to lift him up for anything after Ishikawa spends his time in control working on the back. There’s a fun little change to the way that usually goes, where instead of being able to lift Shuji more and more as it goes on, Generico gets a sense like he’ll only be able to manage it once, so he hits the Brainbuster the first time he can muster the strength. It hasn’t been set up enough so it falls short of ending the match, and allows Ishikawa to come back and begin unloading. El Generico is a big boy though, and stays in it. Ishikawa has no choice but to just repeat himself, and on the second try at Splash Mountain, Generico rolls out and into a high stack sunset flip to keep the title. Not the epic it looks like on paper, but something that’s a little bit truer to who they both are. One more notch in El Generico’s versatility argument, in case he needed another.

***

HARASHIMA vs. Shinya Aoki, DDT (2/17/2019)

This was for Shinya Aoki’s DDT Extreme Title.

Even better than the original. That saw HARASHIMA keep coasting on being the best mat guy in the pro style world of DDT and never push like he’d need to to get an advantage, because for years he hasn’t fought anyone where he’d need to. Here, the matwork is just as great, but he’s a lot more aggressive and brings it out of Aoki too. He can score with more pro style offense as a result, but Aoki tries to show off with that too. He hits a beautiful flying knee off the apron that about kills HARASHIMA and focuses in on the arm as it goes on.

HARASHIMA’s selling is impeccable as always, and they really lay into each other. Aoki brushes off a lot of goofier pro wrestling attacks in favor of really putting over HARASHIMA’s more legitimate offense. HARASHIMA is still in over his head as Aoki pulls ahead, and seeing him get eaten alive last October in a similar setting makes it so much more fulfilling when he learns ways out and adjusts. He throws more kicks now, keeps avoiding the big armbar, and instead of some more junior style pro stuff that didn’t work, he goes to just a gross Piledriver to set Aoki up, and he hits the Somato to regain the title.

Incredible multi match story told between the two, first calling into question and then reaffirming HARASHIMA’s skill and mastery of the art. Simple but brilliant stuff. One of the five or so best matches of 2019

***3/4