Commissions continue again, this one coming from Ko-fi contributor Henry HeadCheese. You can be like them and pay me to write about all different types of stuff. People tend to choose wrestling matches, but very little is entirely off the table, so long as I haven’t written about it before (and please, come prepared with a date or show name or something if it isn’t obvious). You can commission a piece of writing of your choosing by heading on over to www.ko-fi.com/elhijodelsimon. The current rate is $5/match or thing or $10 for anything over an hour, and if you have some aim that cannot be figured out through simple multiplication or other processes, feel free to hit the DMs on Twitter or Ko-fi.
I don’t fucking know, man.
Ultra Ace and Ultra Monkey are your classic wrestling characters based on some anime shit (I cannot tell you a single thing about Ultraman besides that SHIN ULTRAMAN was directed by the director of SHIN GODZILLA (not the same SHIN G director who directed SHIN KAMEN RIDER, which I have seen and loved) too, although I have not seen the former), and they go after some monster guys with several eyes and claw hands.
The match itself is beautiful nonsense.
Many things go wrong, the monkey walks into the ringpost on accident, and many also also go right, like all the arm drags and various ranas and headscissor combinations. While the split is a clean one in which no one takes a thing away from the other, the match is cleanly split between schtick and basic lucharesu routine, and so, the match itself is sort of stuck in between the two.
Settling for a little bit of both, to be fair, still results in a super fun eight minutes (of what’s aired) that’s more fun than a whole lot of other wrestling.
Our Heroes win, obviously.
There are likely millions of worse things someone can pay me to watch and write about than an eight minute bullshit comedy match about an anime I will never watch or understand though.
I encourage all of you to find them.
HANDWERK 